Today I ‘saw”, or heard, myself in a new podcast I listened to. I’ve always been a podcast listener but with the pandemic, have found even more interesting podcasts to be my adult friends who talk to me during the day since my in-person interaction has greatly diminished.
This ImagineMKE Podcast about Historic Milwaukee touched me in a special way. Julia Griffith, Program Director for Historic Milwaukee, shared a story about Milwaukee’s impact in shaping the world. Did you know there would be no Panama Canal without Milwaukee? It also included a story about how important Wisconsin was in licensing midwives. I’m a doula, not a midwife, but I am Italian and do live in the Lower East Side (not far from the Third Ward), so close enough.
Julia says “Wisconsin was an early pioneer in licensing midwives. Because Italian immigrant women who lived in the Third Ward were vital to their communities, well trained in Italy, and wanted to be licensed in America. So the state of Wisconsin said ‘great, we can handle that’. ..Thank you immigrant Italian women who give us prenatal care.”
So maybe I come to this work not only through a lifelong desire to walk the sacred journey of pregnancy and labor and help women achieve the birth they desire but empowered on a cellular level by my Italian ancestors to be a part of the birth experience.
In honor of Father’s Day, read a recent testimonial posted by a client eloquently expressing the benefits of virtual doula support for him and his wife during labor and delivery:
“Doula support from a husband’s perspective “the short of it”: If you had no formal training and had to coach the Super Bowl in nine months you would hire the best coach with multiple Super Bowl titles to get you up to speed. That is what it’s like having Jo Ann’s support as a husband/partner through pregnancy, labor, and delivery (which, let’s be honest guys, we know nothing about, and it’s the last thing you want to be bragging to be an expert at…). She is extremely dedicated, knowledgeable, and caring about her craft and her clients which makes her the best choice. Guys, hiring a doula doesn’t get you off the hook for doing the work but you will have someone to support you as well with ideas and guidance as you do the work. Your wife is birthing your child, the least you could do is help in whatever way she needs during the process. Jo Ann will give you the tools necessary to do this through practice and repetition prior to labor and delivery.
We hired Jo Ann at 38 weeks knowing we wanted someone knowledgeable who could continuously support us with the goal of a VBAC through preparation, labor, and delivery. The way hospitals, OB’s, and nurses are set up there is very little coaching or support during the labor and even delivery until your wife/parter is ready to push. Then the whole team comes rushing in ready to catch the baby. Having a doula (especially Jo Ann) to support us through the whole process (even virtually) helped ensure a more positive outcome not only in physical health for mom and baby but in mental and emotional health as well. This is something every woman should strive for and be able to achieve. Being that JoAnn now has virtual options (thanks to the pandemic) no matter where you are located, she is able to support you, so give her a call and see if she is the right fit for you.
The long version (for those still reading):This whole pregnancy (2nd child) my wife talked about having a positive physical, emotional, and mental birth experience with as little intervention as possible along with a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I watched as she put in multiple hours per day for months preparing her body and mind for labor and delivery after full days of caring for our 18 mo old daughter and working part time. We were two weeks away from our due date when it really hit me that I knew very little about how to support my wife in achieving her goal once the time came that she would be in labor. It was the moment when I was reading the first few chapters of “The Birth Partner” by Penny Simkin (a recommendation from my wife) when I realized how much a doula could benefit both of us during this process and we decided to start searching (better late than never). The other factor which played into our decision was the ongoing pandemic and policies where only one support person was allowed in the birthing room at a time. If we were going to achieve the birth plan we both wanted it was necessary to have someone that could provide continual guidance and help us weigh pros and cons of decisions prior to labor, during labor (at home or hospital), and delivery. This, I realized afterwards, would be extremely beneficial to any woman and in any circumstance, not just during a pandemic.
We are SO thankful to have found Jo Ann, she is an incredibly caring human being and there is not a doubt in my mind we should have hired her for our first child, earlier in this pregnancy, and would 1000% hire her again if we choose to have more children. She ended up supporting us through FaceTime nearly the whole labor and delivery since things were moving along quickly (4 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing is fairly quick in this case). I was truly in awe of her ability to stay engaged with us and pick up on nuances in my wife’s face to let her know when things were happening during the entire 8 hours. This is not an easy task while virtual and just staring at a screen, but it is the mark of someone who is truly dedicated to their craft and their clients. I have no doubt that Jo Ann’s virtual support is just as beneficial as her in person support.
Through her virtual support I was able to confidently support my wife 100% while being able to “phone a friend” for guidance every step of the way. Her involvement also allowed me to fully immerse myself in the process of supporting my wife and not have to spend time away from my wife thinking or referencing materials about what and how I should be giving support to my wife next. Since we practiced the positions and methods she recommended that we would use during labor and delivery in the days leading up to it, we both knew our roles well when the time came and could execute without thinking or discussing, when that would have only distracted from the task at hand.
For those considering hiring a doula, Jo Ann is the right choice no matter you or your partners birth style preference. She will guide the conversation around what preferences your wife/partner has for the birth plan and then assist you in confidently supporting your wife/partner to meet as many preferences as is possible. Believe me, there will be things you will forget about when the time comes, and Jo Ann ensures that you have yet another person fully committed to how you and your wife/partner want this process to go.
Another way Jo Ann supported us so well was discussing the pros, cons, and the why behind some of the advice and feedback we received (or would receive) from our OB and medical staff. We were able to discuss scenarios that may come up prior to even being in labor and have a notion of the direction we would take so we wouldn’t have to try to discuss once we were at the hospital focused on delivering a baby. She was able to explain the options in a way that made decisions based on our birth plan clearer and was able to give insight into alternatives which could be pursued, including doing nothing and just waiting (which is sometimes the best option). Having this third party observer with the knowledge to understand the medical jargon and the articulation to explain helps make clear minded decisions during a time when your mind is otherwise preoccupied trying to support your wife/partner.
VBAC Warrior
If you are considering hiring a doula, you need not look further, Jo Ann is one of the best. She is extremely knowledgeable through her training and experience but also attended additional trainings and researched additional topics including VBAC when there was additional information available to help us. She was always responsive and available whenever we had a concern. She is always calm and reassuring, collaborative with the hospital staff and OB, and always had a suggestion when it felt like nothing was working. After hiring her at 38 weeks, during a pandemic, with only virtual support options my wife was able to achieve an unmedicated VBAC delivery (my wife is also a warrior!) We could not speak more highly of Jo Ann’s support. If you are still on the fence, give her a call, it only took a few minutes for us to realize the value she could add during pregnancy, labor, and delivery.”
Birthing families are facing additional stresses during the time of COVID-19. The health concerns of how the virus could affect them or the baby, the loneliness of physical distancing, working from home with older children, and much more complicate each day. Many parents are without the expected anticipated support postpartum of their friends and families upon returning home from the hospital.
A major worry of some is if they would be separated from their newborn immediately after birth should parents have confirmed or suspected COVID-19 or mother has a fever or cough. Fever in labor can occur due to something called chorioamnionitis, which is inflammation of the membranes. Fever can also be a common side effect of an epidural or meconium. There is conflicting research and advice on this topic of maternal newborn separtion. As a birth doula, it is one of the topics my clients are most concerned about. And to make it even more confusing is that the information continues to change.
The newest recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics and the CDC currently recommend separation. The AAP states “While difficult temporary separation of mother and newborn will minimize the risk of postnatal infant infection from maternal respiratory secretions.” The exact wording in their report is, “The likely benefits of temporary maternal and new born separation at birth for decreasing the risk of newborn infection should be discussed with the mother optimally prior to delivery.” Disappointingly, what is not mentioned is the harms of mother newborn separation. Know that parents are free to accept or decline this recommendation after an informed consent discussion. They do state that an alternative to separation includes keeping the newborn at least 6′ from the mother at all times with a physical barrier and to not breastfeed. This is in keeping with the CDC’s recommendations also.
However, in contrast all around the world, including the World Health Organization, the United Kingdom’s Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, UNICEF, and guidelines from Canada and Italy state the contrary. Their recommendation is to keep mother and newborn together unless the mother is too sick to care for baby.
You as parents have the final word. Evidence Based Birth has created a sample Informed Consent Form for Refusal to Separate Birthing Parent and Infant. You can link to the form on my Resource Library. Please reach out to your doula to discuss this topic prior to birthing.
We are three weeks into the Physical Distancing in Milwaukee required to flatten the curve from COVID-19. This is hard. We are social beings and being isolated goes against our nature. At first, I was excited about having some (unknown amount) of time in front of me to stay home, clean a few closets, read some of the stack of books on my nightstand, and slow life down a bit. But then, it hit me, the realization that this Physical Distancing wasn’t going to be just a week or two but some much longer unknown amount of time where we are not going to be going about the life we knew.
My coping methods to find and keep balance during uncertain times includes list making. Trying to feel in control of something in an out of control time. Lists of what to clean, which new parks to hike, what business systems and paperwork to revise, which clients to follow up with. But my higher self knows that is not the best use of this time, going inward and finding meaning and mourning for our world is where I need to be.
Today, I walked a different route out to the lighthouse on Lake Michigan. My husband took this picture of me and my pup and I think it is a good representation for how I’m feeling – a bit off kilter. The funny thing is, this lighthouse is actually very tall and straight. It is just the angle of the photo that makes it look like it’s leaning. And so it is with the world. The earth still spins and the sun still rises, just with a world-wide pandemic novel virus spreading through it; a bit off kilter too.
Be gentle with yourselves. Take the time you need to mourn and grieve the many losses we are experiencing. Hold in prayer those who are keeping our society running and caring for the most vulnerable. And those who have lost their loved ones or employment completely.
Pregnant families are among the most stressed at this time. Their birth plans are being impacted in countless ways including not knowing if their partner or husband will be allowed in the hospital with them, adjusting to virtual support from their doula, not having their family visit after returning home with a newborn. I can help with this. I have been and am supporting births virtually and working extra hard to prepare families to manage during the 4th trimester. Help is available, please don’t feel like you have to go this alone. We’re in this together and we’ll help each other find balance once again.
Babies continue to be born despite the happenings in the world around us including a worldwide pandemic. The social distancing requirements to flatten the curve of the COVID-19 impacts our ability to be physically close to one another. This however, does not mean that we cannot be virtually close and continue to be connected and share conversation, information and support. With creativity and flexibility, you can still have the invaluable support of a professional certified doula near you.
As a birth doula, I know now, more than ever, it is critical to have the continuous support of a qualified and experienced birth doula beside you. Anxiety levels are heightened right now because of the uncertainty around us. The added concerns over the new regulations and fear from the unknown from the COVID-19 create higher stress levels in the mother. Most hospitals have limited the number of people who can be present in labor and delivery to one which is most often the husband or partner of the laboring woman. But as your doula, I can still be present to you via the excellent technology available to us today. I will work harder than ever to keep you empowered and feeling safe throughout the process of labor and birth.
We develop a plan together of how we will communicate when you are laboring at home and at the hospital; this may be FaceTime or Google Hangout. Having a long extension cord and charging cord for your device will give you flexibility in where you place your phone or iPad. A stand or means to prop your phone or iPad is also helpful. I can still be near you, see you and give suggestions on position changes and comfort measures. We can discuss any options presented to you during labor and make sure you are using informed consent and have the information you need. I can still coach the partner in ways to comfort and support you. Postpartum, I will encourage you to do skin-to-skin with your newborn and give advice on baby latching and nursing. The information you desired and wanted will still be there for you. You are not alone in this. Your doula can help you and support you despite not being physically in the room. We’ll get through this together.
Always an emotional site. Especially knowing my father and grandparents were welcomed by this view on their arrival to the United States.
So how does one who is hired to be a continuous support during labor and delivery ever get away? Good question. As a Birth Doula, finding pockets of time between scheduled births to leave town becomes a challenge. Even though I have a backup doula for every client, I’m committed to being there for each client and have yet to call on the services of a backup doula. I found a few days recently when there were no births for a while and no postpartum visits scheduled so I took advantage and did a short getaway to NYC with my husband as a tag-along to his business trip.
No Day Shall Erase You from the Memory of Time
The first thing I see walking down the terminal at Mitchell Field in Milwaukee reminds me of nursing mammas. Yea! Yea! Yea!
A few days in NYC always feels like a whirlwind – so much to do and see. We took in Hades Town on Broadway and were so happy to see a familiar face of a friend from Milwaukee in the cast.
An obligatory purchase of roasted chestnuts is an integral part of a winter visit on the streets of New York. A solemn visit to the 911 Memorial and Museum was very moving. It brought back the overwhelming emotions of that tragic day. The architecture of the building along with the exhibits create a visceral experience. Spencer Finch created this amazing installation titled: Trying To Remember the Color of the Sky on That September Morning. Each of the 2,983 blue squares represents one of the victims of the 2001 attacks and the 1993 World Trade Center bombing. No two squares are the same color blue. Eight children died that day.
Ute Cradleboard combining basketry, hide and beadwork.
Kootenai baby carrier made from wood, deer hide, wool, glass beads, conch shells.
My first visit to the National Museum of the American Indian was excellent. Of course I was drawn to the various baby carriers on display from the many tribes across the American continents. Many cultures understand the benefits of keeping baby close – the regulation of the baby’s heartbeat, temperature and breathing all are impacted by being worn on the mother.
No matter where I turned, there was something to remind me of the birth work I do at home in Milwaukee of supporting people during the most sacred time of their lives. I carry my clients in my heart wherever I go. On a personal note, there was also a little time to do some shopping for my first grandchild arriving soon. Shh, don’t tell baby’s parents. I want that all to be a surprise.
I’ve learned that so many of my clients in the Milwaukee area seek to find deeper meaning in what bringing a new life into the world is all about. Some have religious traditions that help them with this. Many wish they had a way to go deeper and gather their female tribe around them to support them during this special time. A Mother’s Blessing is a way to be surrounded by the special friends and family to affirm and empower the mother-to-be as she prepares for the transition from pregnancy to childbirth to motherhood.
Our western tradition of preparing for a baby includes baby showers – which are super helpful to the new family in assembling the physical objects to set up a household to bring baby home. We also focus on the physical and medical aspect of childbirth with preparation classes at a hospital or birth center and in prenatal meetings with the Doula. The spiritual and emotional piece often gets neglected.
A Mother’s Blessing is an intimate gathering of closest female friends and family to create a loving circle around the mother-to-be helping her to prepare for her upcoming birth. It is a beautiful pre-birth ceremony borrowed from an old Native American tradition (Blessingway) celebrating a woman’s rite of passage into motherhood. The goal is to have her feel loved, recognize her strength, believe in her body and its ability to birth her baby, feel confident for labor, birth and motherhood. It’s a time where the focus is not on gifts, but instead on nurturing and supporting the soon-to-be mom. She should feel empowered, loved and strong after experiencing a Mother Blessing.
If you are a mother-to-be and this resonates with you, share this idea with your best-ies. If it feels too overwhelming for them to take on planning such an event, contact me, 414-301-7729, for facilitating this powerful gathering for you. I provide a menu of rituals to choose from to be customized to what would speak most to the mother-to-be. The host provides the venue, food, and invites guests.
Becoming a mother is a life changing, transformative experience. “Showering” the mother-to-be with the affirmation and support of a Mother’s Blessing is a true gift of love.
Being pregnant during a Wisconsin Summer can be a challenge to staying comfortable. In the Milwaukee area, even though we are now officially in the Summer season, temperatures have still been cool and wet. However, because we live in Wisconsin, we know the hot, humid, sticky weather of Summer will arrive soon. When you are carrying another human inside you, the effects of the heat can be felt even more intensely.
If you are pregnant, how will you stay comfortable and safe during the hot summer days? Let ‘s think about these things now.
Hyperthermia – Abnormally high body temperature can be dangerous for pregnant women. During the Heat Advisories, stay cool in the shade or inside and avoid hot tubs. Applying a cool washcloth to the nape of the neck and forehead can feel refreshing. Carry around a personal hand held fan for those times you are feeling the heat Maybe hang out at one of Southeastern Wisconsin’s beautiful lakes in the shade and feel the breeze.
Exercise safely – Swimming is a great exercise for pregnant women, feeling the freedom of movement in all directions can be lovely when you are feeling a bit encumbered by the weight gain.
Hydrate – Pregnant women are more likely to show signs of dehydration such as lightheadedness or dizziness which would cause them to fall. Also, low levels of hydration can affect your hormones which, in late pregnancy, could stimulate intermittent uterine contractions. The Cleveland Clinic recommends pregnant women drink 10-12 glasses of water a day.
So, grab a towel, pick up your favorite book on pregnancy or parenting, head to the beach, put an umbrella in that tall, chilled glass of water and enjoy the albeit brief Summer of Wisconsin.
As we celebrate the birth of our country on the Fourth of July, we remember all those serving in our military who put themselves at risk to protect and defend us every day. When families are separated because a partner or spouse is on active duty, the anxiety of facing labor and delivery for a pregnant woman can be great. As a member of the Military Birth Resource Network,I support military families through this difficult time. Having a Birth Doula’s support can help moms feel safe and more comfortable during pregnancy and allow her to achieve the birth she desires. We are a continuous presence during labor and delivery.
Postpartum care is also important for a mom and newborn when a partner is absent. Protecting mom’s time to rest and bond with baby is critical to establishing the loving bond between them. A Postpartum Doula provides non-medical physical, emotional and informational support to a new mother. That support may include: newborn care, support with breast or bottle feeding, meal preparation, maternal care or light household tasks.
Discounts provided for doula support services to military families. Contact me to find out how I can help you.
Anyone who knows me, even a little bit, can probably tell you that I’m all about the food. As an Italian, cooking and being around the table with family and friends are at the center of my joy and happiness. I grew up in a house where we grew, cooked, canned and preserved most of the food we ate. Today, from my condo’s tiny garden, I grow a bit of what ends up on my table in addition to what I get from my vegetable and meat CSAs.
When you are pregnant, food becomes even more paramount in your life as you are literally “eating for two.” And making decisions about how to get the right nutrients for mom and baby can be challenging. Eating whole foods and skipping the processed foods is a great start to a healthy diet. If cooking is hard to fit in your schedule when you are feeling extra tired, try doing some batch cooking on a weekend. You can have a few meals prepped and ready to go for those busy weeknights. And, being aware of salt. That is important for all of us but especially pregnant women according to Dr. Rahul Gupta, chief medical officer at the March of Dimes.
Hypertension during pregnancy can lead to preeclampsia, a pregnancy complication resulting in high blood pressure and damage to liver or kidneys. This can result in premature birth.
Dr. Rahul Gupta
Check with your medical provider if you have questions about what to eat and your nutrient intake. Be sure to disclose any herbal supplements you are taking as they may affect the absorption of some vitamins and nutrients. And, stop by your local farmer’s market, support a local farmer and buy some delicious in season produce. Your family and baby will thank you!
