DADS and (virtual) DOULAS

In honor of Father’s Day, read a recent testimonial posted by a client eloquently expressing the benefits of virtual doula support for him and his wife during labor and delivery:

“Doula support from a husband’s perspective “the short of it”: If you had no formal training and had to coach the Super Bowl in nine months you would hire the best coach with multiple Super Bowl titles to get you up to speed. That is what it’s like having Jo Ann’s support as a husband/partner through pregnancy, labor, and delivery (which, let’s be honest guys, we know nothing about, and it’s the last thing you want to be bragging to be an expert at…). She is extremely dedicated, knowledgeable, and caring about her craft and her clients which makes her the best choice. Guys, hiring a doula doesn’t get you off the hook for doing the work but you will have someone to support you as well with ideas and guidance as you do the work. Your wife is birthing your child, the least you could do is help in whatever way she needs during the process. Jo Ann will give you the tools necessary to do this through practice and repetition prior to labor and delivery. 

We hired Jo Ann at 38 weeks knowing we wanted someone knowledgeable who could continuously support us with the goal of a VBAC through preparation, labor, and delivery. The way hospitals, OB’s, and nurses are set up there is very little coaching or support during the labor and even delivery until your wife/parter is ready to push. Then the whole team comes rushing in ready to catch the baby. Having a doula (especially Jo Ann) to support us through the whole process (even virtually) helped ensure a more positive outcome not only in physical health for mom and baby but in mental and emotional health as well. This is something every woman should strive for and be able to achieve. Being that JoAnn now has virtual options (thanks to the pandemic) no matter where you are located, she is able to support you, so give her a call and see if she is the right fit for you. 

The long version (for those still reading):This whole pregnancy (2nd child) my wife talked about having a positive physical, emotional, and mental birth experience with as little intervention as possible along with a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). I watched as she put in multiple hours per day for months preparing her body and mind for labor and delivery after full days of caring for our 18 mo old daughter and working part time. We were two weeks away from our due date when it really hit me that I knew very little about how to support my wife in achieving her goal once the time came that she would be in labor. It was the moment when I was reading the first few chapters of “The Birth Partner” by Penny Simkin (a recommendation from my wife) when I realized how much a doula could benefit both of us during this process and we decided to start searching (better late than never). The other factor which played into our decision was the ongoing pandemic and policies where only one support person was allowed in the birthing room at a time. If we were going to achieve the birth plan we both wanted it was necessary to have someone that could provide continual guidance and help us weigh pros and cons of decisions prior to labor, during labor (at home or hospital), and delivery. This, I realized afterwards, would be extremely beneficial to any woman and in any circumstance, not just during a pandemic. 

We are SO thankful to have found Jo Ann, she is an incredibly caring human being and there is not a doubt in my mind we should have hired her for our first child, earlier in this pregnancy, and would 1000% hire her again if we choose to have more children. She ended up supporting us through FaceTime nearly the whole labor and delivery since things were moving along quickly (4 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing is fairly quick in this case). I was truly in awe of her ability to stay engaged with us and pick up on nuances in my wife’s face to let her know when things were happening during the entire 8 hours. This is not an easy task while virtual and just staring at a screen, but it is the mark of someone who is truly dedicated to their craft and their clients. I have no doubt that Jo Ann’s virtual support is just as beneficial as her in person support. 

Through her virtual support I was able to confidently support my wife 100% while being able to “phone a friend” for guidance every step of the way. Her involvement also allowed me to fully immerse myself in the process of supporting my wife and not have to spend time away from my wife thinking or referencing materials about what and how I should be giving support to my wife next. Since we practiced the positions and methods she recommended that we would use during labor and delivery in the days leading up to it, we both knew our roles well when the time came and could execute without thinking or discussing, when that would have only distracted from the task at hand.  

For those considering hiring a doula, Jo Ann is the right choice no matter you or your partners birth style preference. She will guide the conversation around what preferences your wife/partner has for the birth plan and then assist you in confidently supporting your wife/partner to meet as many preferences as is possible. Believe me, there will be things you will forget about when the time comes, and Jo Ann ensures that you have yet another person fully committed to how you and your wife/partner want this process to go. 

Another way Jo Ann supported us so well was discussing the pros, cons, and the why behind some of the advice and feedback we received (or would receive) from our OB and medical staff. We were able to discuss scenarios that may come up prior to even being in labor and have a notion of the direction we would take so we wouldn’t have to try to discuss once we were at the hospital focused on delivering a baby. She was able to explain the options in a way that made decisions based on our birth plan clearer and was able to give insight into alternatives which could be pursued, including doing nothing and just waiting (which is sometimes the best option). Having this third party observer with the knowledge to understand the medical jargon and the articulation to explain helps make clear minded decisions during a time when your mind is otherwise preoccupied trying to support your wife/partner. 

VBAC Warrior

If you are considering hiring a doula, you need not look further, Jo Ann is one of the best. She is extremely knowledgeable through her training and experience but also attended additional trainings and researched additional topics including VBAC when there was additional information available to help us. She was always responsive and available whenever we had a concern. She is always calm and reassuring, collaborative with the hospital staff and OB, and always had a suggestion when it felt like nothing was working. After hiring her at 38 weeks, during a pandemic, with only virtual support options my wife was able to achieve an unmedicated VBAC delivery (my wife is also a warrior!) We could not speak more highly of Jo Ann’s support. If you are still on the fence, give her a call, it only took a few minutes for us to realize the value she could add during pregnancy, labor, and delivery.”

Maternal and newborn separation in the time of COVID-19

Birthing families are facing additional stresses during the time of COVID-19. The health concerns of how the virus could affect them or the baby, the loneliness of physical distancing, working from home with older children, and much more complicate each day. Many parents are without the expected anticipated support postpartum of their friends and families upon returning home from the hospital.

A major worry of some is if they would be separated from their newborn immediately after birth should parents have confirmed or suspected COVID-19 or mother has a fever or cough. Fever in labor can occur due to something called chorioamnionitis, which is inflammation of the membranes. Fever can also be a common side effect of an epidural or meconium. There is conflicting research and advice on this topic of maternal newborn separtion. As a birth doula, it is one of the topics my clients are most concerned about. And to make it even more confusing is that the information continues to change.

The newest recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics and the CDC currently recommend separation. The AAP states “While difficult temporary separation of mother and newborn will minimize the risk of postnatal infant infection from maternal respiratory secretions.” The exact wording in their report is, “The likely benefits of temporary maternal and new born separation at birth for decreasing the risk of newborn infection should be discussed with the mother optimally prior to delivery.” Disappointingly, what is not mentioned is the harms of mother newborn separation. Know that parents are free to accept or decline this recommendation after an informed consent discussion. They do state that an alternative to separation includes keeping the newborn at least 6′ from the mother at all times with a physical barrier and to not breastfeed. This is in keeping with the CDC’s recommendations also.

However, in contrast all around the world, including the World Health Organization, the United Kingdom’s Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, UNICEF, and guidelines from Canada and Italy state the contrary. Their recommendation is to keep mother and newborn together unless the mother is too sick to care for baby.

You as parents have the final word. Evidence Based Birth has created a sample Informed Consent Form for Refusal to Separate Birthing Parent and Infant. You can link to the form on my Resource Library. Please reach out to your doula to discuss this topic prior to birthing.

Doula support in the time of social distancing

Babies continue to be born despite the happenings in the world around us including a worldwide pandemic. The social distancing requirements to flatten the curve of the COVID-19 impacts our ability to be physically close to one another. This however, does not mean that we cannot be virtually close and continue to be connected and share conversation, information and support. With creativity and flexibility, you can still have the invaluable support of a professional certified doula near you.

As a birth doula, I know now, more than ever, it is critical to have the continuous support of a qualified and experienced birth doula beside you. Anxiety levels are heightened right now because of the uncertainty around us. The added concerns over the new regulations and fear from the unknown from the COVID-19 create higher stress levels in the mother. Most hospitals have limited the number of people who can be present in labor and delivery to one which is most often the husband or partner of the laboring woman. But as your doula, I can still be present to you via the excellent technology available to us today. I will work harder than ever to keep you empowered and feeling safe throughout the process of labor and birth.

We develop a plan together of how we will communicate when you are laboring at home and at the hospital; this may be FaceTime or Google Hangout. Having a long extension cord and charging cord for your device will give you flexibility in where you place your phone or iPad. A stand or means to prop your phone or iPad is also helpful. I can still be near you, see you and give suggestions on position changes and comfort measures. We can discuss any options presented to you during labor and make sure you are using informed consent and have the information you need. I can still coach the partner in ways to comfort and support you. Postpartum, I will encourage you to do skin-to-skin with your newborn and give advice on baby latching and nursing. The information you desired and wanted will still be there for you. You are not alone in this. Your doula can help you and support you despite not being physically in the room. We’ll get through this together.